Friday, March 13, 2009

My story

Wow, it's been a loooooong road. Let me explain. Here's my story: For the past 2 years I've been suffering from an undiagnosed chronic illness. I've had every kind of symptom you can imagine. For a lot of this time my life has truly been a living hell.

Last February I lost the ability to write...I couldn't even hold a pen. That started my 3+ months of being a cripple. I couldn't walk easily, write, do school, or even move without pain. I had such a horrible foggy feeling in my brain that I couldn't think. You'd be surprised how much you miss the "little things" in life once they're gone. Things like signing your name....writing an email...walking up the stairs...stretching...getting dressed (pain-free)...cutting up food by yourself...washing your hair without crying because the pain in your arms is so excruciating. I couldn't do one of those things last year. It was truly the worst few months of my entire life.

Around the end of May 2008, all of sudden my pain started to dissipate. I started being able to do all sorts of things I hadn't been able to do in months!!! By the middle of June I was living mostly pain-free. The pain stayed away for a long time, it was magical!!! :)

Then, in October I started feeling the loathsome symptoms I had felt the previous January that turned me into a multiple brace-wearing cripple. It was horrible. I dreaded the day the pain would again take over my life.

I have only mentioned the physical things this far though. Starting in January 2009, I started having quite a bit more neurological symptoms. My vision got really blurry, sometimes double vision, colored eye spots, black eye spots, floaters, brain fog, severe memory loss, stuttering, other speech impediments, hearing loss, several different kinds of hallucinations, and tremors/shaking. (to name a few) These symptoms get worse every day. I'm scared that without help, someday, I'm going to be a "vegetable"....

Since November 2008, the pain has increased daily. Every day there is a new pain, or a previously existing pain measurably worsens. It's March now, and It's only a matter of weeks/months until I won't be able to move. Just like last year, I will again be a cripple. Barring a miracle, that is.

1 comment:

  1. No! Kristin!

    Horrible, horrible, post. Now I feel sad :(
    Gah. now talk about the lymes disease and tell everyone how God will use the doctors to make you better.

    ReplyDelete