I'd like to share something that impacted me today. I am going through the devotional book Thirty-One Days Of Praise by Ruth Myers, and today is Day 10, which says:
"I choose to thank You for my weaknesses, my infirmities, my inadequacies (physical, mental, emotional, relational) ...for the ways I fall short of what people view as ideal...for my feelings of helplessness and inferiority, and even my pain and distress. What a comfort it is to know that You understand the feeling of my weaknesses! ...and that in Your infinite wisdom You have allowed these in my life so that they may contribute to Your high purposes for me.
I specifically thank You for: [Fill in the blank]
LYME DISEASE
Thank You that many a time my weaknesses cut through my pride and help me walk humbly with You...and then, as You've promised, You give more grace-You help and bless and strengthen me. Thank You for all the ways I'm inadequate, for they prod me to trust in You and not in myself...and I'm grateful that my adequacy comes from You, the all-sufficient God who is enough! Thank You that I can trust You to remove or change any of my weaknesses and handicaps and shortcomings the moment they are no longer needed for Your glory, and for my good, and for the good of other people...and that in the meantime, Your grace is sufficient for me, for Your strength is made perfect in my weakness." [<--I believe this last section is what is happening to me, with my doctor's appointment getting moved up!]
"So to keep me from being too elated by the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
~2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."
~Romans 8:28
"As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God!"
~Psalm 40:17
"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God."
~2 Corinthians 3:5
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Life With Lyme Disease
"But they who wait for the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
- Isaiah 40:31
- Isaiah 40:31
Followers
Blog Archive
- March 2012 (1)
- April 2010 (1)
- February 2010 (1)
- January 2010 (1)
- December 2009 (1)
- November 2009 (1)
- October 2009 (1)
- September 2009 (2)
- August 2009 (1)
- July 2009 (3)
- June 2009 (6)
- May 2009 (2)
- April 2009 (11)
- March 2009 (15)
My Story: My Battle with Lyme Disease
Wow, it's been a LONG road. Let me explain; here's my story: For 3 years I suffered from a previously undiagnosed chronic illness that we eventually discovered was Lyme disease. I had every kind of symptom you can imagine. For the majority of this time my life was a living hell.
In February of 2008 I lost the ability to write...I couldn't even hold a pen. That started my 3+ months of, for all intents and purposes, being paralyzed. I could barely walk, couldn't hold a pen let alone write, couldn't go to school, or even move without pain. I had such a horrible, foggy feeling in my brain that I couldn't think at all. You'd be surprised how much you miss the "little things" in life once they're gone. Things like signing your name....writing an email...walking up the stairs...stretching...getting dressed (pain-free)...feeding yourself...washing your hair without crying because the pain in your arms is so excruciating... I couldn't do ONE of those things during those few months (and some of them for much longer). It was the worst time of my entire life.
Around the end of May 2008, all of sudden my pain started to dissipate. I started being able to do all sorts of things I hadn't been able to do in months!!! By the middle of June I was living mostly pain-free. The pain stayed away for a long time...it was magical! We thought I'd been miraculously cured. Then, in October 2008, I again started feeling the loathsome symptoms I had felt the previous January that turned me into a multiple brace-wearing cripple. It was horrible. I dreaded the day the pain would again take over my life.
From November 2008 to June 2009, the pain increased daily. Every day there would be a new pain, or a previously existing pain would measurably worsen. I have only mentioned the physical things this far though. Starting in January 2009, I had quite a bit more neurological symptoms. My vision got really blurry, I had double vision, colored eye spots, black eye spots, flashing lights, floaters, brain fog, severe memory loss, stuttering, dyslexia, other speech impediments, hearing loss, several different kinds of hallucinations, and tremors/shaking (to name a few). All these symptoms got worse every day. I thought it would only a matter of time until I wouldn't be able to move. Just like the year previous,, I would again be a cripple. Barring a miracle, that is.
That miracle happened in March 2009 when my mom heard a radio show “by chance” that talked about Lyme disease. Listening to that, attending a lyme disease support group meeting, talking with lyme survivors, and more, led to my swift diagnosis via my symptoms and a very specific, rarely done blood test within two weeks of hearing the radio show. Then we got an appointment with a local infectious disease specialist who was known to truly treat lyme until it was irradicated - even if it was long-term. He was booked solid until July 22, which was when the appointment got scheduled for. But I started to get a lot worse. Then God performed yet another miracle by allowing someone to cancel and move my appointment up to the beginning of June. I then started on oral antibiotics and was on those for 5 months.
After having felt better for awhile, I started getting a lot worse near the end of those 5 months. On 3 November 2009, the doctors decided that I had been on meds for long enough and that I was lyme-free! We were ecstatic, as we were expecting me to be on meds for up to a year or even two. It seemed too good to be true. After getting off the meds I felt better; I even felt really good! ...That was over 4 months ago. A lot of my symptoms didn't change throughout treatment (and post-treatment) and there is still leftover pain and after-effects of the disease.
In February of 2008 I lost the ability to write...I couldn't even hold a pen. That started my 3+ months of, for all intents and purposes, being paralyzed. I could barely walk, couldn't hold a pen let alone write, couldn't go to school, or even move without pain. I had such a horrible, foggy feeling in my brain that I couldn't think at all. You'd be surprised how much you miss the "little things" in life once they're gone. Things like signing your name....writing an email...walking up the stairs...stretching...getting dressed (pain-free)...feeding yourself...washing your hair without crying because the pain in your arms is so excruciating... I couldn't do ONE of those things during those few months (and some of them for much longer). It was the worst time of my entire life.
Around the end of May 2008, all of sudden my pain started to dissipate. I started being able to do all sorts of things I hadn't been able to do in months!!! By the middle of June I was living mostly pain-free. The pain stayed away for a long time...it was magical! We thought I'd been miraculously cured. Then, in October 2008, I again started feeling the loathsome symptoms I had felt the previous January that turned me into a multiple brace-wearing cripple. It was horrible. I dreaded the day the pain would again take over my life.
From November 2008 to June 2009, the pain increased daily. Every day there would be a new pain, or a previously existing pain would measurably worsen. I have only mentioned the physical things this far though. Starting in January 2009, I had quite a bit more neurological symptoms. My vision got really blurry, I had double vision, colored eye spots, black eye spots, flashing lights, floaters, brain fog, severe memory loss, stuttering, dyslexia, other speech impediments, hearing loss, several different kinds of hallucinations, and tremors/shaking (to name a few). All these symptoms got worse every day. I thought it would only a matter of time until I wouldn't be able to move. Just like the year previous,, I would again be a cripple. Barring a miracle, that is.
That miracle happened in March 2009 when my mom heard a radio show “by chance” that talked about Lyme disease. Listening to that, attending a lyme disease support group meeting, talking with lyme survivors, and more, led to my swift diagnosis via my symptoms and a very specific, rarely done blood test within two weeks of hearing the radio show. Then we got an appointment with a local infectious disease specialist who was known to truly treat lyme until it was irradicated - even if it was long-term. He was booked solid until July 22, which was when the appointment got scheduled for. But I started to get a lot worse. Then God performed yet another miracle by allowing someone to cancel and move my appointment up to the beginning of June. I then started on oral antibiotics and was on those for 5 months.
After having felt better for awhile, I started getting a lot worse near the end of those 5 months. On 3 November 2009, the doctors decided that I had been on meds for long enough and that I was lyme-free! We were ecstatic, as we were expecting me to be on meds for up to a year or even two. It seemed too good to be true. After getting off the meds I felt better; I even felt really good! ...That was over 4 months ago. A lot of my symptoms didn't change throughout treatment (and post-treatment) and there is still leftover pain and after-effects of the disease.
After being off meds for over 3 years now, I see a lot of neurological and physical effects which have been pretty severe. I certainly have brain damage and reduced cognitive function from the lyme disease. Along with those neurological affects, I have discovered that my cardiovascular system will never be the same; I have no endurance. Because the lyme ate its way through my body, I am much more prone to illness and injury now...my body seems much older than it is. I have a weak back and hip/knee/ankle weakness. All of that has been fun to deal with in college, but God is with me every step of the way and He has richly blessed my life in spite of everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment